Medical Services for Hire

[haemosexual]

Subject: Medical Services for Hire
Date: 15 July 125
Time: 20:46:39
By: 318 - 1888

If you are Distressed by Sudden and Strange CHANGES to your Limbs or Appendages, the Solution is here! With Surgical Amputation, you can regain your PEACE OF MIND - without the added Inconvenience of Travel to the Pavillion.

Our Amputation Services promise to be Quick & Safe and your excised limb, organ, &tc will be returned at No Additional Cost.

PRICE NEGOTIABLE - NO I. O. U.s

By Appointment Only

Laszlo Cravensworth, Scientist
The Blocks, Panorama
15 July 125

NOT AFFILIATED WITH 'THE SCULPTOR' MEDICAL CLINIC

[ IMG ATTACHED ]

Comments

[magike]

I assumed the ambulance was simply coincidental.

[haemosexual]

It is.

[magike]

Apparently not.

[haemosexual]

I'm not in the habit of carting the sick to hospital, if that's what you mean.

[magike]

This would suggest otherwise.

Where will you take them?

[haemosexual]

I won't be taking anyone anywhere at all. What is this line of questioning?

[magike]

So amputation is a preamble for feeding from them.

1/2

[haemosexual]

[GIRL DON'T OUT HIM LIKE THIS]

I have no idea what you're implying.

inbox

[haemosexual]

Who the fuck is this

[mississippis]

Dunno about peace of mind.

But this is sure the entrepreneurial spirit.

[haemosexual]

A skilled Surgeon ought to be compensated, don't you think? I wouldn't trust someone who not only offers it gratis, but pays the Patient as well.

[mississippis]

Are you?

A skilled surgeon?

And don't get me wrong, I think one should be paid.

But it's hard to have peace of mind when you're getting a body part hacked off.

[haemosexual]

I assume you haven't much experience with Infectious Disease. Better to lose a limb than complete this unholy Transformation. [He assumes. He quite liked his own unholy transformation.]

And yes, highly skilled. Many years of experience.

[mississippis]

Where'd you go to school?

[ Not that it would be weird if she doesn't recognize any University names. Or even if people are trained to be surgeons in different ways in different universes. But.

She doesn't trust anyone, it's nothing personal. ]

[haemosexual]

Eton and King's College.

That's in England.

[Strongly assuming this person is not British and therefore doesn't know jack or shit about anything.]

Will you be quizzing me on anatomy next? Happy to do so in the flesh, so to speak.

[mississippis]

[ Both are true. She's neither British nor well-versed in either jack or shit. ]

I don't like doctors, so, yeah, a quiz is gonna be involved when we're talking about hacking off limbs.

[ Or, more accurately, she doesn't like doctors, or scientists, or anyone with a scalpel. ]

[haemosexual]

[Oh, was that not blatant enough. Texting is hard.]

I'm not specifically trained in Medicine, if it puts your mind at ease. My skills lie in Anatomy and Biology; I am more a Surgeon than a Doctor.

[vecna]

"Scientist." Is that the only qualification you have to share?

[haemosexual]

I didn't think to bring any diplomas with me whilst being shanghaied into another dimension.

[vecna]

But you could list them, for those of us who are curious.

[for those of us who are sus of scientists!]

[haemosexual]

You think I'm offering amputation without prior experience? I'm certain there are skills I could lie more effectively about.

[vecna]

Anyone can say they have prior experience in amputation and mean it. That doesn't really tell anyone anything other than you like hacking off limbs.

Are you a doctor, then?

[haemosexual]

[Who would offer to hack off limbs if they didn't also enjoy it!]

I don't practise Medicine, if that's what you're asking. Beyond Surgery, I've experience in Biology, Chemistry, and Psychology.

[vecna]

[a;ijsdf you know what, valid]

No, I was asking if you were a doctor. If surgical amputation happened to be a specialization of yours.

You'll have to forgive the skepticism, but surely you understand it, too.

[haemosexual]

I'm quite sceptical of the woman in the Pavillion that's doing this for free, personally. One must wonder what's behind such altruism.