Have you seen my human?

[someonetostay]

Subject: Have you seen my human?
Date: 6/30
Time: 3:36 AM
By: 906-1985
Content Notices: discussion of slugs, violence, captivity, and looking at people’s underwear while they’re unconscious.

Hello. My name is Connor. I’m looking for a missing human.

His name is Curtis. I know this because I checked his underwear.

He is approximately five foot nine. His hair is brown and somewhat shaggy, and he has a fair bit of stubble on his face. If you get close, you might see that he has a diagonal scar across his nose.

I don’t recommend approaching him, however. Curtis is quite violent.

He was last seen in my motel room at 7:03 PM on the 29th. The fungus wall is relatively undisturbed beyond what the slugs have consumed, so I believe he made his exit via the door or, perhaps less likely, a window.

Please assist. Thank you.

Comments

From 666-4903

[godjr]

Is Curtis your friend? Why would he be going through a window? Also there's a fungus wall? That doesn't seem healthy.

-Jack Kline

[ He signs his texts because otherwise it looks like a random number. ]

[someonetostay]

I believe Curtis might be angry with me. I gave him a hamburger floaty once I returned from the pool party, but I ended up taking it away after he was saying cruel things. I think he is acting out.

I appreciate your concern about the fungus wall, but it connects mine and Castiel’s rooms. The fungus isn’t harmful for me, although I’ll make sure to check again with Castiel.

The slugs enjoy it.

[godjr]

Maybe you should let him go walk it off?

[someonetostay]

It’s been eight hours and thirty-three minutes. I’m concerned.

If Curtis is merely having a walk, he would be quite far by now. What if he’s lost?

[godjr]

It is very late, but the city is busy at night. But if he left from your window it sounds like he wants to not be there.

[someonetostay]

But I want him here.

I gave him a hamburger floaty.

[godjr]

Oh I see! You're sad he didn't like your present. Maybe he's not used to getting nice gifts.

[someonetostay]

I suppose I am sad. I like the flotation device shaped like a hamburger, and I thought he might too. It’s something memorable from my time at the pool party.

I think you might be right. Should I perhaps give him more gifts?

[godjr]

Maybe you should ask him when he returns why he didn't appreciate your heartfelt gift. Maybe hamburgers are a trigger for him and that's why he left.

956 - 3608

[messenger]

it's for the slugs andwere not getting rid of it

[ he does not sign his name. he could be anyone. ]

He doesn't need to sign his name

[godjr]

Castiel, it could be dangerous!

HAH

[messenger]

its fine

it's because Connor said slug above lol

[godjr]

You don't know, it's alien fungus, it could harm you.

smart jack

[messenger]

it hasnt yet

[godjr]

How dangerous is this Curtis?

[messenger]

hes just a normal human

he broke into my room while i was slug gathering a few weeks ago

389-9915

[alwaysme]

Fungus wall?

[someonetostay]

Yes. The wall between mine and Castiel’s motel rooms is being consumed by a rather determined fungus.

Please don’t tell the front desk. I believe they would charge us more.

[alwaysme]

Don't worry, I won't snitch.

I'm just curious--did the fungus originate from the room? Did you carry it with you from of one of those diffusion zones? Is it spreading? I don't know how fungus spreads...

Wait, it's not that weird red goop, right?

[someonetostay]

It originated from the room, yes. Castiel and I chose these rooms specifically for the fungus.

It isn’t red, no. The colors range from #182A38 to #000D25. When the curtains are open and the sun is out, the colors range from #0F3C5A to #00193C. I hope this helps.

I do believe the fungus is spreading, yes. The slugs can’t contain it.

1/2

[alwaysme]

That does not help, but good effort.

I guess the answer's more slugs.

2/2

[alwaysme]

Have you considered fire? Controlled--don't want you burning down our residence.

[someonetostay]

The slugs like the fungus, and I do enjoy the thought of collecting more gastropods.

Why would I burn the fungus? Do you think that’s why Curtis left?

[alwaysme]

Curtis probably left because he was bored. Maybe he wanted a snack. I dunno.

Do you want to live in a room primarily composed of fungus when it inevitably spreads to take over? I mean, you do you, but the owner's are gonna notice eventually.

[someonetostay]

Do you think Curtis was bored? I was providing enrichment. I gave him a hamburger flotation device. I also fed him crackers, but he spit them at me so I crushed them and rubbed them over his lips. It’s my duty to provide for him.

I would like a room primarily composed of fungus, yes. That sounds pleasant.

Perhaps I can convince the motel owner that a fungus establishment would be in their best interest.